Fun Facts About Me!

I just thought it could be somewhat hilarious to do a post on a few little things very few people know about me. Here it goes!

1. I’ve cleaned up more strangers’ poop in the bathroom than I can count.

2. My husband and I spend our evenings mostly eating watermelon and watching controversial political and philosophical documentaries.

3. I graduated high school at the age of 17 and finished early at a school for delinquents because it was the only way I could get away with finishing within a month.

4. Back to the bathroom topic, I’ll never use a handicap bathroom for fear someone who’s actually handicapped needs to use the restroom while I’m in there.

5. I’m going on the Sucre tour in September and it’s cute because literally that’s all Collin and I listened to in the car whenever we first started dating.

6. I briefly worked at a yoga studio before Collin and I started dating.

7. I still try to do yoga everyday; it’s the only form of exercise that doesn’t make me feel like I’m trying to burn calories, but makes me feel comfortable and strong.

8. I’m almost always scared that every slight ailment is like a killer disease. Collin makes fun of my for it, but my anxiety takes off at the smallest sign of sickness.

9. I make southwestern quinoa like every night and it’s my favorite dinner.

10. I didn’t grow up in a church or anything close, but sought my own spiritual path once I was in treatment.

11. My favorite class in college was World Religions.

12. For the record, I thought Collin and Christie were dating the first time I saw an inkling of their band on the internet. Lol oops.

13. I’m filling this out in the car and Collin is rapping to old Eminem.

14. I saw Collin picking his nose the night we met.

15. He’s probably going to kill me for number 14.

16. I LITERALLY have eleven siblings (unless you add my siblings in laws spouses, then I have 16).

17. I didn’t graduate college, but I when I went, I was majoring in art.

18. I took printmaking and it was the hardest thing ever. Hats off to whoever finds that fun.

19. Collin and I live in a triplex next door to his parents. Once again, lol oops.

20. I grew up in a house with three cats and four dogs.

21. I didn’t get a job until I was eighteen, so if you feel like a loser because you’re seventeen and haven’t ever had a job, DON’T.

22. I used to party hardy every weekend and abuse drugs and alcohol.

23. I smoked cigarettes from fourteen to eighteen years old.

24. The reason I quit was because I was going to Colorado and I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to breathe. Sooooo glad I did.

25. I bought a Magic Bullet at Target like three days ago and I bet I’ve used it like twenty times already.

26. Bananas are some of my favorite foods. That sounds dirty.

27. Erase number 26 from your memory.

28. Collin and I eat so much salsa and make it different every time.

29. I’m obsessed with air popped popcorn.

30. Collin is walking around the house singing “Rich Girl” by Gwen Stefani.

Busy Bliss

So, as some of you may’ve noticed, we’ve been exceptionally busy around here the past two weeks! Literally within this small amount of time our life has taken on an absolutely incredible and refreshing turn, and it wouldn’t have happened without YOUR help!

I wanted to post this thank you alongside with a few answers regarding various emails and comments I’ve received with the hopes of clearing up some of you inquisitive shoppers/readers. I’m sorry I haven’t posted more of a variety of sizes past S, M, L, and XL. I swear I’m trying! I’ve bought several things but they’ve sold so quickly that I haven’t gotten the opportunity to stock up just yet. Since this business is so fresh and shiny new, we’re still working out the kinks and always taking suggestions and constructive criticism. We’ve received some not so sweet emails regarding Bliss doing the opposite of it’s mission which is to make people feel good about themselves, and frankly, it leaves me broken-hearted! Just know that we ARE trying every time we go scoping for new garments to find plus sizes and smaller sizes to style and have available for everyone :).

Regardless of clothes, I hope everyone recognizes that we still are promoting mindfulness, positive self worth, and body image. This can be taken into consideration by anyone, despite their size, because it’s based on your mentality and your feelings about yourself. I want you to know I’m still open for emails with questions or any struggle you may be having, and I want everyone to know the sole purpose of this blog has not been forgotten!

Even these days I still struggle with my own set of body-image issues and food-related problems. I’ve been facing things that have hidden from me, things I guess I thought would vanish with my past once I got married. We’re all human and we all have our beef with ourselves, hiding it and projecting it in unhealthy ways onto ourselves or others. I’m just here to say we can work through it and we can all encourage one another!

We are so grateful here at the Bliss Headquarters that you’ve given us a chance and let us into your life in such a relatable and honest way. We love and appreciate every single one of you! <3

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Instagram Official

Yesterday marked my first attempts of selling clothes on the internet and I was very pleasantly surprised by the positive feedback I received from my readers! If this is something that a good amount of you guys are interested in, then let there be a sale!

I’m planning on purchasing and reworking several different things so that everyone who’s looking for a good pair of overalls or high waisted shorts or just a granny maxi dress can have it! I had loads of fun yesterday styling and putting together the outfit bundles for those who purchased items I posted.

I also started BlissBranch an Instagram yesterday, whoop whoop! I would love everyone to follow both accounts because I’ll be posting different material on each :).

I was wondering if there’s any specific item anyone’s looking for? Sizing? Extras? Accessories? Comment on this post or on the Instagram @BlissBranch and I’ll do my best to make it happen :)!

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Married Life!

I just want to begin this by saying thank you to all of the exquisitely kind words in regards to our wedding and everything about it. In all honesty, I wish I could go back and relive the whole day, which is not abnormal. Everyone who’s been married has shared with me this similar desire, and I’m so blessed to have a video of our wedding come our way rather soon!

Let me just express that being married is literally the most fun I’ve ever had. Collin and I laugh until we cry, watch marathons of True Blood, and eat whole watermelons as often as we can, declaring our gratefulness all along the way.

Lately, things have been a little tough. The future is looking uncertain with our current jobs and the stress of what that could mean is intimidating. Recently, my job reduced my nine hour shifts to four hours, bringing me in at a whopping sixteen hours a week. It really hit hard.

After several nights of unloading my anxieties on my husband, I realized that though I was anxious and fearful, I was still the happiest I’d ever been in my life. He agreed, and with that, I’ve since continued to count my blessings and look toward the larger picture that is our life!

Before we know it, we’ll have babies, dogs, our own multi-bedroom house, and the struggles of today will wash away.

And lemme tell y’all, I cannot wait to have a baby! But I will. Sigh. We don’t quite fit the monetary criteria we believe is necessary, and frankly, we want to travel and live our “couple life” for a weeeeee bit longer! ;)

Also, we drive a Fiat. If that’s not Birth Control, I don’t know what is!

I plan on attempting to write my book this year. It’s not something I don’t have time for or am not interested in, I just need a good lead. It’s tricky; if I want to write about eating disorders, do I include my personal journey, or exclude it with awareness of the triggers it will cause?

Do I write a novel? If so, for children? Adults? Whatever it may be, I plan on illustrating it and pouring my heart into it.

(Also, if anyone knows how/wants to help me make writing/blogging my living, send me an email, I’m definitely interested!)

With all the time I’ve been dealt not working, I’ve been able to write music and revisit the piano, which has been sooo fun. There’s nothing like having your own home, and someone to share in the fun with you.

This was merely an update because I’m home sick. Green snot is really cute, huh? :P

Here’s some shots of our life as of late:
We both got some lovely tattoos, we welcome a lovely kitten into our home, and Collin’s birthday is in two days!

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Here Comes the Blog…



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In case you missed it, I got married to Collin Ashton DuPree exactly one month ago.

(Weird, I literally am just realizing today is June seventeenth..! Please envision me dorky dancing in my kitchen and texting my husband right now.)

Just warning you: this is going to be as detailed as it gets. (Well, up until we left the venue. Nothing past that! Nunyabinness!)

I don’t even know where I could possibly begin with this post. There were so many people involved in every intricate and delicate detail of our special day that to begin naming would take all day. Essentially, Collin and I are SO incredibly blessed to have such loving parents and willing siblings to not only envision but also conjure up such a magical soiree in our honor.

Here’s some rehearsal dinner shots.

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Rehearsal dinner wedding prep!

Rehearsal dinner wedding prep!

More rehearsal dinner prep.

More rehearsal dinner prep.

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The day itself was honestly bizarre. My entire family was in town in addition to Collin’s, yet I spent the night before my wedding by myself. I didn’t want a slumber party, or spend the evening reminiscing on childhood memories with my parents; I wanted to be alone. Honestly, I was sort of terrified I would stay up too late and then have to wake up early, leading to becoming a walking headache all day. Collin stayed until I fell asleep, and I slept through the night.

I woke up calmly and quietly and had yogurt and berries alone.

I had coffee alone.

I did yoga alone.

I took a shower and fixed my hair and makeup. I couldn’t help but think, “Uhh…can I do normal makeup? Like, am I allowed? Does it break some sort of unspoken bridal tradition? Aren’t you supposed to let some kinda-girlfriend pluck your mustache and pinch your eyelashes? Can’t I just save the poor girl a bridezilla moment and do it myself? I’m doing it….”

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All the while praising the Lord for this time alone. The last thing I needed was some champagne-toasted, giggle-induced anxiety attack from too many “So are you nervous?!” -s.

(So, I MAY have sneakily texted Collin the morning of…I HAD NO CHOICE! He was going to get ready at our place but I had slept there, so it was like this big cluster of when my ride was picking me up mixed with make sure you eat your lunch mixed with don’t be late! mixed with stop texting me omg you’re breaking the rules!)

My mom showed up twenty minutes late and I chastised her gently, but couldn’t manage to be annoyed. I was getting married in three hours!

The finishing touches were performed at my aunt and uncles house, where I remained relatively quiet aside from replying whenever asked how I was doing. I ate a snack and drank champagne. I was pretending like I didn’t notice I was late.

My aunt was running around making sure everything was ready in addition to herself and her children, and she was my ride to the venue. We finally left and sang (and videotaped ourselves singing) No Doubt all the way out of town.


_mg_0987Upon arriving, I texted Weston, Collin’s brother to make sure Collin was blindfolded or put in a corner somewhere so that he wouldn’t even catch a glimpse of me in my pajama shirt and fancy hair. (Also, I wished Weston a happy birthday because we suck and stole his birthday thunder with our wedding).

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My girls were all there getting ready and looking SO stunning. I didn’t stop smiling or hugging people for the rest of the day after I opened that door. Christie and Sherri had bought me an iced latte and I sipped it while I scoped out our cute bungalow, it’s rustic charm masked by its shabby exterior. Lucy was eating a Starbucks cake thing and watching the iPad while everyone hustled and bustled around her, laughing and crying because they were all practically high on hairspray fumes and excitement.

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After hugging everyone I went into one of the bedrooms with my aunt, the videographer, and the photographer to slip into my gown.

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It wasn’t real! None of it! Where was I?! What was this?! Who am I?! WHAT I’M GETTING MARRIED?! AHH! *dancing, laughing, and crying on the inside*

(I actually didn’t cry at all my whole wedding day, I was too nutty and giggly.)

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My bridesmaid Addie and our friend Alex Modisette (both of which work at Moss, a beautiful floral shop in Tyler) showed up with my bouquet and my bridesmaids’ peonies. They were perfect! I was practically drooling, only drool couldn’t come out because my smile was too tight, I guess.

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Everything was perfect! Besides everyone in the world coming in to say hello. That, I’ll admit in my own bridezilla way, that made me crazy. Literally forty people came and went in the span of like twenty minutes and I just wanted to get my hair resprayed and my pins readjusted! But I do love you all, if you’re reading this! I just kinda threw up in my mouth every time someone asked if I was nervous at that point, or wanted to hug my hairpins even looser.

Oh, yeah! It’s all coming back now. I didn’t know wtf I was supposed to do, by the way. I never asked! Does someone come get me? Do I lead the bridesmaids to the door? Do I wait until they’re gone? Did someone already tell me and I completely forgot?

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Thankfully, our Aunt Parrish came to the rescue and confidently told me what was up and that everyone would be waiting on me, I could take my time. That sounded so nice. I felt like a badass in a lacy dress. QUEEN KARSYN! Muhahaha!

Only, screw waiting, let me kiss the groom!

Parrish asked if I was ready and she smiled very sweetly. I said yes before I began to panic, but that was all forgotten as soon as we made the trek to the barn door. I could have easily puked. It’s kinda what I would imagine being shot while wearing a bullet-proof vest would feel like. Very clear, yet not lethal pain.

My girls were tearing up, I was peeking through cracks in the door, straining to hear the music and if everyone was walking when I envisioned they would. (The song I chose for them to all walk to was “Get it Wrong, Get it Right” by Feist, so please hear that in your head now.)

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The girls left me and Parrish told me Collin was literally on the other side of the door I was leaning against. He was right there and he had no idea.

My stepdad, Michael opened the door for me. (Okay, my whole stomach just plummeted even thinking about this moment) My heart was in my throat, my chin was tucked and my eyes found Collin instantly. “Light Up” by Sucre began to play and I began to walk, I guess. Who knows. I just know Collin was crying and I was still going to throw up through my huge smile.


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Michael stopped about four steps to the stage and handed me off to my dad, Jeff, to give me away. Shortly after, I was on the stage. Terry, the man who married us, began to speak and I couldn’t squeeze Collin’s hands tighter. I remember saying, “Hi.”

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All things were said and then Collin began his vows. No one heard them but me and I know everyone was probably pretty annoyed, but it was perfect. He could hardly say them as he read his perfect little torn card I left him that morning with instructions to write your vows. My vows followed and then the rings, I think? The unity candle thing happened somewhere in there, but you guys, I can’t remember where.

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It was time for Terry to pronounce us and I leaned back and tucked my chin again, just gearing up to launch myself into wifedom, I suppose!

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He could kiss me! And let me tell you, he did. He grabbed my face and held me close for the perfect amount of time. Everyone cheered and “I Will” by Paul McCartney began to play.

We ran down the aisle to the back door and screamed! We smiled and jumped before we kissed and hugged. Being married made us even dorkier.

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Once we came back in the hugs and smiles began in full force all over again, and the remainder of the reception was nothing but a hungry, thirsty, sweaty, busy, perfect blur.

We forgot to do our toast and ALMOST forgot the garder/bouquet toss. Good thing other people have brains n stuff, because those things never even crossed my newly-wedded mind.

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All the perfect photos were shot by our talented friend Bliss Katherine Braoudakis, and there is a video coming soon shot by our friends Brad and Monica Eggerton.

It takes FOREVER to upload and resize everything, but more pictures will accompany this post ASAP, I just had to put some on while I could.

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The F Word

I basically have an infinite number of drafts I have not posted, because, let’s face it. Nobody wants to read a blog post from an upset/bored blogger. Collin’s been gone and every time I go to blog, it’s typically in one of those moments where I find myself with nothing else to clean or fold, and no more songs to attempt to butcher with the guitar. 

You guys know what I mean. The whole, I’m taking a moment for myself to do this one thing for myself, yeah, perfect, gonna do it because it’s going to make me feel good about myself right now this very moment, nothing else to do yeah, awesome….

Whether you’re picking up your paintbrush or sitting down with your laptop, we can all get in a bit of a forced-feeling creative rut.

Okay, so here I am. Sitting on my couch, eating orange chocolate and waiting for the UPS man to possibly arrive with clothes I ordered off of an online clearance from ASOS. (Couldn’t resist finding something for a wedding video shoot! :)

Sitting on my couch feeling rather passionate about a certain topic that’s made it’s way into my life in several ways lately.

I’m talking about the F word. Not the fun swear word you use every time you walk your hip into something or right before you honk your horn at that person who doesn’t know they can turn right on red. Not the word that “rhymes with hug me.”

I’m talking about FAT. Ugh. It almost feels as if it gags me and partially gives me heartburn with its potency. 

Literally makes my eyes water like I’m chopping a white onion. Only it’s the onion of insecurity and body-image. Twenty-million complex layers of hate, love, and confusion all pulled from a soil rich in twisted words like FAT. This is so hard to blog about. I don’t know why it’s evoking such an emotional reaction from me, but I don’t want this to be an aggressive post or a sappy post. 

(Does that simile make any sense? I know food analogies are kinda eh whenever I’m talking about something so touchy like weight and body image, but it’s all about the onion layers, people.)

Anywho, we all hear it. Most of us probably hear it everyday, I know I do. Every. Single. Day. 

I hear it thrown around by men at work, talking about celebrities and fellow coworkers of mine. I hear it in passing from innocent family members and friends, pinching their arms and smacking their full bellies after a meal. I hear it through smiles, laughs, frowns, pleas. I see how to blast it on magazine covers and how to shed it over the span of three days on popup internet articles. 

I hear it and I hear it and I hate it. I am genuinely hurt when people I love feel like their bodies are less than flawless, and I’m deeply offended when I hear guys say things about girls they don’t even know.

I’ve been called this word countless times in my life. I remember the first time someone said it to me. I was in first grade and I was walking around the edge of the playground, balancing on the boarder that kept the little wooden chunks separate from the grass. A boy named Andre deliberately walked up to me, pointed at me and said I was fat.

And so the seed was planted, and from that moment on, I knew the word to be a part of my identity.

From that moment on, I began the battle I still face with how I see myself in the mirror. With how I see myself as a woman, and how I see myself as a person.

From that moment, I began to put up barriers between myself and other people. Barriers that prevented relationships and connections with people and friends who didn’t give that word value. 

I used to weigh a lot more than I do now. Numbers will never matter, and I’m hesitant to show pictures, because I don’t want to possibly trigger anyone into thinking my weight loss is something they want, or something they envy. I’m showing this because this is a part of my story and a part of my struggle. 

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This is a photo from when I was sixteen and again when I was eighteen. 

This is a post to share the psychological effects of bullying as well as the emotional and physical effects. 

This is not a post to say one word matters and defines you. Quite the opposite! If only I had known whenever I was younger that those kinds of words hold no merit in my life and speak no truth. However, whenever you’re a kid, combined with other psychological traumas and the ever-present puberty you must survive, it’s borderline impossible not to let those words affect you!  

Though I am happily engaged and plan on starting a full and incredible life with my insanely gifted and perfect future husband, I still struggle when I hear the F word.  

I think of the daughter I might have some day. I think of someone whispering about her across the room.

I think about my mother and everything she overcame and struggled with as a young woman and adult.

I think about all of the women existing, applying society’s beauty standards to themselves and feeling as though they never measure up.

I’m hear to proclaim an end to the power of the F word. There’s no way to erase it from anyone’s tongue, or to yank it from every Webster Dictionary on the market, but there is a way to rob it of it’s glory.

I am healthy and I lead a beautiful life. I am grateful for this body I feed and clothe everyday, and I finally treat myself to a balanced lifestyle with food, exercise, and love. God intended everything to happen the way it did for me and I’ve grown in every possible way and don’t see it ceasing anytime soon. I don’t feel sorry for myself and I don’t plan on ever taking anyone else’s negative words about me to heart. 

It’s a word. It doesn’t describe who you are, and it doesn’t define who you are!

:)

 

 

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Not My Actual Dress but…

Me in Sherri's old extra wedding dress! Sorry for the quality of this photo. :(

Me in Sherri’s old extra wedding dress! Sorry for the quality of this photo. :(

Isn’t it beautiful?!

I’ve been hanging onto this old extra dress of Sherri’s for about a week now, (just as an emergency if something happened to my custom one right before the wedding) but I just had to share!

It’s not the actual dress, and I’ll probably never wear it again, but let me tell you. Trying on wedding dresses is so FUN. Like, incredibly fun. This one just so happened to fit like a glove and, granted I only wore it long enough to take a vast amount of pictures and do a couple of twirls, I felt like a literal princess.

I know everyone on every movie and in every book says that, but that’s because, uh, yeah.

It’s true! :)

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Bridesmaids!

Bridesmaids!

Here’s a glimpse at our wedding colors! My lovely bridesmaids Addie, Christie, Jessie, Sherri, and Kayla have picked their dresses and I couldn’t be more thrilled!

It’s okay to show the bridesmaids dresses, right?! Psh, I mean, you can’t see mine! I’m pretty sure that’s the only rule.

I mean, I suppose everyone else could see my dress, but I know you’re out there, Collin. You will read this and what if you saw it?!

NOPE.

Couldn’t be more excited or blessed to have such wonderful and inspirational women in my life.

I’ve known Addie Moore since the sixth grade; we were lab partners in Mrs. Braswell’s class at Hubbard Middle School. She moved away for a while but once she moved back, she worked at Barnes & Noble and eventually got me a job there. She saw me through treatment and all the emotional highs and lows that come with it, assuring me that I would find my way through things and the world wouldn’t end if I didn’t follow a strict schedule everyday. Addie helped me realize that not everything has to be perfect to be beautiful. She helped me relax and SHE’S THE ONE who encouraged me to ask Collin out! (And yes, I asked him…on FaceBook…) We were sitting at Jason’s Deli one night after work and she was telling me to “effing do it! Just do it, oh my God. What do you have to lose?”

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Ugh, I love her so much.

Another bridesmaid of mine, I’ve also known forever. But like, forever. Her name is Jennifer Bryant and we met in Mrs. France’s first grade class at Rice Elementary. We’ve known each other through every awkward haircut, every bad date, every family drama, choir and band concert. We both hated PE and copied one another’s homework. We saw every movie that came out in theaters during the years 2005-2010 I bet. We lived about a quarter of a mile apart, yet I only rode my bike to her house once because I was a lazy brat. Jennifer and I can go like six months without hearing a peep from one another but once we’re together, we might as well be thirteen again. We’re not afraid to laugh, cry, and argue with one another, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Then there’s my niece-to-be, Kayla! Oh deary, she really is a beautiful and precious gift to my life. Only thirteen years old, and she’s lived the life of someone twice her age, having fashion sense better than mine, and hair that could easily be endorsed by some silky smooth conditioner commercial. She’s not only lovely but genuinely smart and caring. Collin and I talk about how incredibly honest and sweet she is; we cannot believe she’s only thirteen!

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Christie and I shared what feels like a lifetime on this last Max/Perma/Merriment van tour. We spent several late nights discussing that night’s weird, wonderful, and unique attributes. She allowed me to open up with how I felt about God and helped me trust that my path wasn’t nearly as rocky as it appeared. Getting along with Christie was effortless; she was always so honest and gentle in her kindness, and funny to boot. I awkwardly did the Electric Slide with her and Collin on the New Year’s Eve that we all first met, and I don’t know why she didn’t think her brother talking to a random green-haired dancing queen was weird, but I applaud her for giving me a chance. She’s insurmountably talented, and her quick wit is immeasurable. I love her and couldn’t be more blessed with her sister-friendship!

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Admittedly, I was following Sherri on Instagram by the time Collin and I had met. SHE’S CUTE, OKAY?! The first time I walked into the DuPree house, I hear, “You used to work at Sonoma!” Sherri and Max had recognized me from years before at my very lowly paid first job as a hostess at this slightly expensive restaurant here in Tyler. I was shocked! She was so precious that night with her perfect baby Lucy basketball belly and her batman shirt. I was instantly able to open up with Sherri about my treatment and anxiety level and she never once made me feel strange or unwelcome. Touring with her was so incredible, especially with her perfectly jolly baby Lu. With all of the decorating the wedding calls for, Sherri’s inspiring thoughts and ideas have made lovely contributions and touches that I can’t wait to share with everyone! I’m so honored to have such a wonderfully understanding and gifted sister-to-be.

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Last but not least I have my dear Jessie! Being the only other DuPree sister-in-law (as well as a fellow natural brown-haired, brown-eyed girl…I think those boys have a type ;) we hit things off right away. Jessie was never afraid to ask every question about my life and my interests, opening up about her life and the joys being a mother and a leader have brought to her. Her faith has always been a very inspiring and magnetic part of her, and she always has answered my curiosities and inquiries in that field of conversation. She possesses the most bubbly and friendly intelligence I’ve ever come across, and her enthusiasm for life emits from her and spreads to anyone she comes in contact with. She’s hugged me when I’ve been upset and she’s related to me when I’ve been stressed. I love her so much and I can’t wait to one day be a SuperMomWife like her (and of course all of the other sisters!).

So thankful to know so many vividly unique and kind souls and to have them as a part of my special day! Stay tuned for more photos soon!

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I’m here! I promise this time! I’m not going anywhere.

I have wifi now, therefore I have no excuse. I feel like such an adult lately, moving in, putting down deposits for everything and building credit. Getting WIFI.

None of this is particularly cheap, but it’s all so fulfilling.

I think it’s safe to say I’ve officially settled into our new home. I think it’s also safe to say that living in a triplex is no different than having two sets of roommates, paper-thin walls, and opposing schedules. But, in all honesty, there’s something comforting about knowing that you’re not spending the night in an empty house. I mean, I’ve met my neighbors and I trust them; they’re not total weirdos or anything.

I mean, I’m a total weirdo, and it takes one to know one, right? Ha. Ha?

(Tangent: Trying to blog to bumping pop music is kind of hard. I keep catching myself doing that whole type what you hear thing on accident. Looks like I need to change the vibe…finding a new playlist…got it!)

Wedding planning is stressful. Let’s just be open here. I’ve definitely had to take a step back on several occasions and reevaluate my attitude towards the way I tend to deal with stress and stressors. It’s not the simplest of things to do, especially whenever you’re dealing with multiple opinions and advice and visions and everything and anything in between.

Not to say that this isn’t a special time, because it is. It is an incredible and precious time that I’ll never have again. I’m a bride.

Like, this is the last second Thursday in March that I’ll never be married.

In my life.

Okay, that was a stretch to bring significance to something seemingly minuscule, but THESE ARE THE THINGS I THINK ABOUT. Every detail matters, yet it’s so easy to take these moments for granted.

It’s tough to slow down anything and zoom in on everything and be grateful for every pore and detail of every scenario. There’s just so much to be grateful for that it’s easy to be overwhelmed and tune it all out.

It’s very easy to fall into old distractions. Old thought patterns. Negative ideas and perceptions which have put on new masks and shown up as new ideas and helpful perspectives. Disordered thoughts rear their heads yet hide their faces in times of stress. Tune something out, replace it with something easy. Something I already know. Something harmful.

You guys know what I mean.

This toxicity happens regardless of the field of the poison. In one person, it could be food. In another? Relationships. In your best friend? Substance. There is no limit to our safety zones that “help” us when we need it but hurt us when we can’t escape.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again! All our anxieties are merely distractions from what is already here and beautiful. Regardless of how blinding these distractions are in your life, you need to take the shield you know you possess and put it up strong and high and move forward.

Now, I haven’t acted on any of these thoughts besides maybe the thought to seek some help from my dietician, Sara Upson, from my old treatment team. I just went to say hi, I’m stressed out and I’m thinking about this and that and just want to make sure I’m doing okay. She assured me I was doing wonderfully and how great it was that I could recognize the patterns of my mind and just don’t get on the scale. Because I had, and that’s what started all of this.

It was a very helpful and relaxed session, wherein I finally had the money to go see her and talk about my daily life. We were able to make future plans for the blog and I shared with her that I wanted to interview her to show others kind of what to expect and how it can be helpful.

Basically, I just needed someone to tell me I’m moving forward, not backward, and I can eat chocolate if I damn well want to.

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Chocolate, Anyone?

Doing crafts, doing crafts! I swear, our new house is resembling what I imagine Pinterest throwing up would look like.

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Honestly, I’ve toned it down. Taken down a few cardboard and paper decorations that looked a little too picnic-barbecue-I-made-this-from-trash decor and replaced it with a little more put-together items.

However!

The over-crafted look didn’t stop Collin and I from dissecting an old catalog of student art and photography and spelling out a Harry Potter reference.

Well, two.

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Admittedly, we were going to put “Mischief Managed” above our bed, but seeing as we aren’t even living together yet, the innuendos aren’t quite as entertaining. ;)

Come on! You guys get it?

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